I took three days off from Facebook and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. No joke. Worse than quitting cigarettes. Because I run a business on social media, I find myself working way more throughout the day than I should. It’s SOOOOO easy to work, and I guess that’s why I found myself working so much! Anyone else? Sound familiar? So… here’s the story:
First: I am totally Addicted to my phone
A few years ago at my first Tony Robbins event, I heard him talk about how technology was the new drug. He said we use it to feel good, remove our boredom and we are totally addicted to it. I didn’t really understand what he meant until recently….
- When I found myself scrolling in the car because I was bored in traffic……
- Or checking Facebook the minute I unlocked my cell phone (even though I took it out just to check the time.) ……and then forgetting that I meant to check the time and having to unlock my phone again…..
- And when I was feeling down, sad and kind of frumpy and so I would go to my accounts and refresh my followers just to see if I had more so I could feel better…..
This is what I was doing….. Like every day. Definitely addicted.
It was totally affecting me. I felt like I was working ALL The time and didn’t know how to NOT work. Not only was this affecting my happiness but it was also affecting my relationship!
Matt would say, “Lauren put your phone down” in the middle of us watching TV together…. like MULTIPLE times in one show. Sometimes I would even scroll my instagram, and come back out of social media world and say, “wait so what happened? Go back…”
I spend a LOT of time in front of the computer working. If you run a business like I do, 90 percent of my work time is spent on coaching calls or creating course content or social media posts for my tribe.
But I started to notice a pattern where no matter what, even when I wasn’t working, I was “working” on my phone, (working is in air quotes because I actually wasn’t working.) During the day I was fine and showing up strong for my audience, but somehow, even when I was supposed to be taking breaks and being “off work,” I was some how still in the middle of it all. – I was either consuming content from my audience/clients, responding to them, or just looking at my own random feed mindlessly with no real actual thought other than, “I should be responding to that right now……” and then feeling guilty that I didn’t have the energy.
“But I run my business online.”
This was the excuse I told myself foreverrrrrrrr. And the reason why I justified being attached to my phone. “Lauren, you run your business on Facebook – how can you possibly take a break?” Let me be clear- I would tell myself this when I was checking my phone in bed, or on the toilet; scrolling my feed in the car, and responding to messages in the middle of dinner. I am a hard worker and I love to hustle, but seriously – where the heck did my boundaries go?
It’s crazy beautiful that we are in a world where we run our businesses online and have no real location we need to be. We can work from anywhere! the bathtub, the kitchen, a totally different country if we want to! But this business we love should be providing us that freedom, not taking it away. The minute your business stops providing you freedom is the minute you have to question everything.
So I did. I questioned it like CRAZY this past week. “Why do I actually feel like I have to respond to this post right now?” and “Do I really have to answer that message 2 minutes after it come into my inbox? Or can i let it sit?”
I spent a week questioning my actions around social media, especially Facebook – since I run a lot of communities for my programs and have a gorgeous tribe Badass Business Babes on Facebook. And then on Friday when my sister went into Labor, I realized it was the perfect opportunity to try out my new life NOT addicted to social media and to actually spend time being more present than ever. (Thank you Julian Poetzsch for teaching me something the moment you were born!)
Somewhere along the way my freedom business morphed into me being an obsessive controlling parent, thinking I need to have my eyes on it 24-7. So I was DONE. And i was about to give my baby business a BOATLOAD of hands off time.
I removed the Apps from my phone.
Yes. I completely removed the Facebook App and FB Messenger from my phone. I actually never have the messenger app on my phone usually, but when I traveled to Hawaii last month I had added it (a “just in case” move on my part.)
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve been home from my trip and for some reason I am using that app like CRAZY. I found myself multiple times a day actually in there scrolling through messages aimlessly (something I already do with my Facebook newsfeed.) I sat down and made a list of all the apps that I would “aimlessly scroll” and my Email, Facebook, FB Messenger were definitely the few. So I deleted them. It felt really good. I also removed my Twist app (which I use to communicate with my staff) and sent them this message:
After some deep self reflection today I realized I am working too often in too many cracks of my day and getting lost in what I think I “have to do” for work. This equates to refreshing inboxes and checking my voxer way too often. So I decided to set business hours for myself. I’ll be sitting at the computer working Monday through Friday 2pm until 10pm. If anything happens between those hours that’s super important, you can text me, as I will no longer have twist on my phone (unless I’m traveling) – I won’t be checking voxer daily anymore, just once in the mornings. So if anything ever comes up, text me.
This felt INCREDIBLY empowering. I know not all of us are lucky enough to have a staff to help us, and I am truly blessed to have these girls on my team. This message was received with so much love. If you don’t have a staff, I do recommend sending a similar message to anyone you work closely with – even if it’s your husband or your kids just letting him know that these are new rules you are trying to implement – it will give you motivation to follow through.
The first few days was a detox.
It’s crazy how much scrolling I must have been doing without knowing, because without the apps on my phone I found myself unlocking my screens and then being confused. Like, wait…. “why did you unlock your phone?” Yup… I was going to check a social media account and it wasn’t there on my phone anymore!
This happened just because I was bored. It took me some time to spend my days doing something else but eventually I felt FREE!
Coming back to social media with a clear headspace.
In a short amount of time I realized something – multi-tasking is bullshit. It doesn’t actually allow me to make more money or be more successful when I am scrolling my feeds every ten seconds – so why am I doing it? The truth is, the more intentional with my time I can be, the better I can actually serve my audience.
When I show up for an hour a day responding to Facebook messages or posts in the groups I run, I am making way more of an impact than when I spend 17 hours a day scrolling through feeds while doing other things. It allows my posts to be more powerful, more impactful, and make more of a difference in their lives.
If we want to serve the world, we need to be better about protecting our time outside of business – and to spend that time doing things that us light me up and make us feel good.
Get what I’m saying babe? What do you think about this?
If you know someone who is struggling with obsessive scrolling, please share this post with them!