This post is for the Coach who is sick to her stomach when she gets messages from clients saying, “I have to back out of my investment.” And at the same time, this post is also for the girl who is the one backing out of her commitments. Because BOTH you babes need to hear what I am about to say.
It’s the worst feeling in the world: You launched a program, you just filled it up and then a few months later, you’re getting messages from your students saying “I have to back out.”
- “I don’t have the money to continue paying.”
- “Something came up with my family and I’m not going to have the time to do this program.”
- “I just realized that XYZ is happening and this program isn’t going to work for me anymore.”
Regardless of the excuse or the situation, it always made my stomach sink whenever I got these messages. Having been in the coaching space for four years running tons of group coaching programs, I’ve run into this a bunch of times. And every time it SUCKS.I had to do a TON of inner work on this you guys.
“I have to cancel” – the four words that make you feel like shit and also make you want to scream.
This is life. And this is business. And not everyone is going to be fully committed and invested in what you have to offer. Still, no doubt it sucks. And as a coach, how exactly are you supposed to handle it when someone asks for a refund or to cancel their contract?
“Something’s come up,” she tells you. “I don’t have the money/there’s been an emergency/I’m not going to be able to commit my time to this anymore.”
Cue heart sinking feeling and a day hiding under the covers. You can’t help but feel like you’ve done something wrong when this happens.
- “Maybe I’m not as awesome of a coach as I think I am.”
- “Why don’t they prioritize this?”
- “What, is my coaching not valuable enough for her?”
To The students that are messaging their coaches and asking to cancel their investments: I call BULLSHIT.
I love you. But I’m calling bullshit. Why? Because I’ve been there! I’ve struggled and made pennies having $60,000 dollars in debt sleeping on a mattress on the floor. But when I committed to something, I STILL made it work regardless of my financial circumstances.
Why? Because my word is EVERYTHING to me. And when I commit to something and promise myself I will create a result, you bet your ass I do it. And EVERYONE should do that too.
If you don’t give yourself what you promise and commit to, how do you expect the universe to commit to you and bring you what you want?
And it doesn’t matter what “comes up.” You make shit work. I once hired a coach for $10,000 USD only to get a bill in the mail for $8,000 two weeks later. Did I turn around to my coach and cancel? FUCK no. The fact that I was in that situation was even MORE of a reason to get my shit together and make more money in my business (which was why I hired my coach in the first place.) I have a friend who hired her first one on one business coach for a hefty sum and found out THAT day that she was pregnant. Did she turn around and ask for her investment back? HELL NO. Because she believed that being pregnant was even MORE of a reason to need help growing her business.
I’ve heard countless stories from people who hire relationship coaches, health coaches and life coaches who had “something come up” but continued to fight for what they wanted.
The Universe doesn’t bring you a roadblock so you can “give up” on your dreams. It brings you an obstacle so that you can feel empowered when you overcome it and have a kick ass story to tell when you succeed.
- I once had a client who had 20 dollars left in her bank account when she hired me.
- I had a student enroll in my coaching program and then get hit with a huge tax bill the next week.
- I had another client who hired me and had to pay for a divorce all in the same month.
What did these women all have in common? Well, ONE – they all kicked ass and had HUGE success stories that now are plastered all over badassbusinessbabe.com – But more importantly, They were DETERMINED to alter their future and they didn’t obsess over all the reasons why they needed to run for the hills and call it quits. Instead, they obsessed over all the reasons why they needed to make it happen!
They didn’t give up when they hit a roadblock. And as a result, they drastically changed their future.
So what is really happening when a student says “I have to back out?”
When I hear girls tell me that they need to back out of a program because they all of a sudden cant afford it or have “something come up” I know this person is living in their fear and feeding into the old story of “I can’t have what I want.” I know that in their head before “something came up” they were thinking of all the reasons why “Maybe this investment was a bad idea.” And they let that story play out over and over and over again filling their head with doubt. So when something “suddenly came up” it was the golden ticket to walk out the door and blackout of their decision to invest.
“Well maybe I can get out of this,” They say. “Maybe I can’t make this work financially” They tell themselves.
When you are looking for all the reasons why you “can’t” – then you can’t. And when something comes up in your life that makes you question your ability to invest in yourself to create the life you desire in the future – you have to ask yourself, “Am I just feeding into a bullshit story that I can’t do this?”
A decision to back out of a contract is the decision to feed into that old story that you aren’t good enough and can’t have what you want. A decision to stay in a contract is a concrete decision to believe in the vision you have for your future.
Before you get mad at me for saying all of this, I get it babe. For the students who make the big beautiful decision to invest in their lives, when something comes up, the first thing they can think to sacrifice on their list of spending is their coaching contract. It’s the quickest way to save money and the quickest way to loosen the pressure of life.
But it should be the LAST thing you sacrifice.
Your VISION for your future, whether it’s to lose weight, find true love, fix your life, get your shift together, hire a business coach or WHATEVER – should be the NUMBER ONE PRIORITY of your life.
You need to act that way. Because if you don’t believe enough in your vision, how can you expect to get a result?
“So as the Coach and Business Owner, How do I handle this?”
It’s simple. First: Do some serious work on recognizing that this is not about YOU. Remember, the person backing out and trying to run for the hills has a commitment problem. How you show up one way is how you show up every way, right? So the girl who is telling you she doesn’t want you anymore isn’t rejecting YOU. She is simply just playing out an old pattern of not believing in herself.
You, as the coach, have a choice: Coach her, or Cancel. And honestly, it’s a case by case basis. Sometimes I have clients who are so heavy in their negative energy and I know they don’t want to change or let go of their old story. Other times, I coach the student through a breakthrough to recognize that they are feeding into an old story of not being good enough for what they want. You don’t have to judge your decisions here and you don’t need to question whether you are “making the right choice,” Just follow your intuition. If it serves you and lights you up to help the woman have a breakthrough, get on the phone with her and coach her through. I did a whole video training on this in my Badass Business Babes FB group – you can go check i out here: The Truth About Firing Clients. But you just need to remember that it’s okay to let go and make space. And it’s also okay to fight for someone you believe in.
The choice is yours. But regardless, always, always remember: This is NOT about you.
Lauren Eliz Love
P.S. If you resonated with this article, please share it with your business babe friends. It’s my goal to help as many women as possible create the businesses of their dreams and I know this can really help some biz babe out there who is struggling.